Why God Says "We Can't Plant Yet" (with Jeremy Hebets)

2026 1019 [05] Yoked Podcast 01: do you want these things to define you? Or do you want to Let who you're becoming define you. Letting this evolution of a person define you. And I think that's the beauty of life, truly, is this concept of it's not your past that defines you, it's who you're becoming. Hey everyone, and welcome to another edition of the Yokes Podcast. In this episode, Jeremy and I talk about you produce who you are. We're gonna talk about inputs and outputs and what to do about it. Stay tuned. All right, guys, welcome the show. Our co host today is Jeremy Hebitts. Good seeing you guys. Hebbits, not he, but it's Hebbits. and before we get into today's topic, we are going to ask a funny question.

So, what is the worst job you've ever had and what did it teach you? All right. Well, I I s had to start working pretty young. So, first job was cleaning air trampolines. Cleaning what? Air those moon bounces, they're called air trampolines. Okay. But so I got crazy strong because of it because they weighed like three, four hundred pounds. Mm mm. But you had to like get a hose in and like wash them down. And then sometimes I had to crawl inside of So I had to rip open the side, crawl in and it's hot and just, you know, sewing up, patching stuff, some glue. It's probably why I'm not like perfect these days. It's probably all the glue I smelled back then, but that's okay.

God redeems all things. Yeah. How old were you? I was about thirteen, fourteen. Okay. That sounds awful, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And there's fun moments about it, but what it taught me was just hard work is good. Mm-hmm. clean, dirty things. And like don't worry about it. Just get it done. Yeah. And it's you gotta do things to make money. Yeah. And that's the way I made money at that time. Totally. It gives you good perspective too on what you don't want to do. Yes. Which I think is is just as important as knowing what you want to do. Yeah. Yeah. My family, we s my growing up with a single mom. she she found a job of becoming a clown. was a way that she was your mom was a clown.

My mom was a clown. Wow, okay. Yeah, children children's entertainer. Okay. she became pretty like well known in in the LA area. Amazing. Did some a lot of famous people's shows and everything. People would this was like before like we had cameras on phones, like, you know, I'm dating myself, but you know Back then it's like people would sneak into her shows and get a camcorder, like the big ones, and try to videotape her shows so they could steal it. What do you mean steal it? Like steal her bits? Yep, and and do the same thing because she was they wanted to know why why was she being like asked by all these movie stars and different people to come do their children's shows.

But that was also something that like when we couldn't get a babysitter, guess who had to dress up like a clown too? This guy. No way. And an elf and all these things. So that was my I was never a dull moment growing up, let's say that. And it taught me how to be cool. But funny story, my buddies and I were running around town and we were went into a grocery store and my buddies were like, Look, there's a clown and I look and it was and I was like, That's my mom and she's like, Boys you know, and so never a dull moment. That's crazy. Wasn't it isn't it Nate Bergazi the comedian? Wasn't his his mom a clown or his dad was a clown? There's some famous comedian that's got a very similar story where he had to step in and Yeah.

Yeah, be the sidekick. that's awesome, bro. Yeah. Well, dude, I wanna jump in, 'cause this we're gonna keep this episode a little shorter today. this statement of you produce who you are. Mm. What does that mean? What are we talking about? What is that? Yeah. Well, I think a lot of times our lifestyle really starts to produce who you're becoming. So I mean an easy way to think about it is if you keep eating fast food, that's gonna that's gonna make you something. Yeah. Right. And it's not gonna be pretty. And and we're seeing our whole society being driven by that. And and it's like that's not w you you have the highest diabetes, you know, highest obesity.

Why? It's because of what they're putting into themselves. Yeah. How they're d and and not only that, what you're putting in you is making you more inflamed, which is turning into chronic issues. And when you're having chronic issues, what does that do then? It it really really s like challenges how you perceive the world. Yeah. I'm tired. I'm exhausted. I don't feel so good. Rather than say, I don't know what to do with all this energy. I think that's that's a piece of this, like producing who you are. and we'll go deeper into that, but what how how does it like define itself for you. Yeah. I so you can't give what you don't possess is what's coming to mind for me.

And so it's like when y you want to be surrounded by fill in the blank. Yeah. Strong team, a healthy family, healthy physically, mentally, spiritually, whatever that means to you, but you're not. Yeah. Right. And so it's like you you are the linchpin as a leader. And so it's like if you want vulnerable team that shares the deep stuff, but you don't do it. You're not that guy or that gal. Yep. Like that's that that's what you're gonna get. You want a bunch of healthy people around you, but you're unhealthy, not gonna happen. And so you are maybe asking your team or your family to do something that you're actually unwilling to do yourself. Yeah.

And so that's where my mind goes is that that, you know, what do you what what would you call that, man? Well like one deviation away. I don't even know what the what that would be called, but it's like just one concentric circle out, right? You have like self, family, team, community. If you want to think about concentric circles, it's that next circle outside of you that you want to be different, but you're not different. Yeah. So that's what I'm thinking about as you're talking. You know, if that you just took me back to like grad or undergrad where my professor said to us, he said, this is geared towards like ministry, but it it's also geared towards everything else.

But he said your con your congregation is a reflection of your soul. Hmm. And so if they're unwilling to do things, you should be checking yourself because you're probably unwilling to do things. Yeah. How willing are you to look at your own stuff to grow? And that's and that's also in your business. It's it's if you're unwilling to do certain things, your business won't be able to handle some the things you want to accomplish. So if it's if you're unwilling to show up wholeheartedly, you're you're creating an atmosphere. You're creating a culture. And if you know it or not, you're creating it. If you're harsh on everyone because you're harsh on yourself, you think people want to stay around?

I don't even know how why you stay around for it, right? It's like, man, like so much of this is driven from our internal life and how we see ourselves. And and I know I'm I'm a corporate of that where I'm hard on myself all the time because I I want the best. And and but my best sometimes is what's also holding me back because perfection can be this thing of what what's the word? Like not fantasy, but it's imaginatory. Like it's this unexpected place that we're looking for. And that that's not real. Like how you get to that is by putting in the work every day, by showing up and and being grateful and giving it your all. And I think when you give it your all, you surprise your own self.

Yeah. And especially when God's a part of it. Like when you're just saying, Lord, let's let's do this together. Let's build together. What what do you what do you want out of this today? How can I show up better for the people around me? What what am I called to? You just find yourself in these moments where God just encounters us. And and I think that's such a special place to come into it. And and if that's your culture, if that's what you're producing. I think you start to see a different thing that comes more. Like when you're when you're about God's purposes, I think you discover these beautiful opportunities that come from it that you would never dream of.

And most of it is saying the other person on the other side of the the coin in that in that manner is is saying, I really needed to hear that. Mm-hmm. That was something I I needed to be challenged by today. Yeah. And then you can, you know, I think it they challenge you. Because they've received and you're like, man, yeah. I need it like you're making me think of like you know, mo most people don't know, but I got engineering degree, go through engineering school and one of the famous engineering phrases is garbage in, garbage out. And so that's what you're making me think of as you're talking, Jeremy. It's like what are you like, what are you ingesting?

And it could be physical, right? We're talking about you know, if you're talking about health, could be content, yeah, could be whatever. and so Like that garbage that's coming in, of course you're getting garbage out. And then if you're leading and we are leading somebody, like somebody's paying attention to what you're doing. I don't care who you are. then they're then they're watching kind of like the garbage that's going in and the and the byproduct of that. That's probably what you're gonna be surrounded by. Yeah. I grew up in this really weird dynamic. losing my father when I was really young, having a single mom, barely scraping by. And she's incredible, you know, what she's done with her life.

But then on the other side I have my uncle who's like my dad's oldest brother and his family and his wife and his kids. they I'm like a brother to them. And they see me as a brother. I see them as sisters and brothers. And and so and I I'm I live in this place of wealth and then somebody that had to be super scrappy, but they both had to be scrappy. And I've seen my uncle And aunt go to millions to almost bankrupt to millions to almost bankrupt and then back up, you know, and like his their faithfulness to God. And then I've seen my mom just, you know, be left with two kids trying to figure out life, you know, and how do I do this? You know, how do I come from a culture, her culture was Danish.

So like women are meant to like stay in the kitchen and not deal with money. And it's, you know, they were almost like expected of that. of of her. So then how do you remake yourself? And she had become an entrepreneur for herself and like be scrappy. And and but living in this tension of these two worlds growing up, like being really grateful that we got to go get a scoop of ice cream at Thrifties. And that was a big reward for us. And then in the in the summers going and living with my uncle saying get as many scoops as you want. And just this tension of life growing up in this place. It really taught me what do I want in my life. But then also I got stuff I have to overcome.

And part of that is like the wounds of like seeing my dad die, the wounds of like being molested when I was a little kid. All these things like held me back in some ways. And I and I had to look at those and address those and overcome those and pursue healing in those. And as I did, then you realize do you want these things to define you? Or do you want to Let who you're becoming define you. Letting this evolution of a person define you. And I think that's the beauty of life, truly, is this concept of it's not your past that defines you, it's who you're becoming. And and not the not the the the things you accomplished, but it's the evolution. Yeah.

And I think that's what what what I start to see is that that person of like the talents that we talked about. when I look at my life and I was just reflecting on this this week is like, man, everything I have is out in the world. I have nothing to bury. And how crazy is that? Yeah. And it's like, yeah, I can't be a one talent guy because everything I have is out. So it's like I'm just there. And we talked about this on one of the other episodes that I think what's so necessary is I'm in a place where it's like, hey, I I have no like expectation like I I'm here to win and I'm here to like go after life with all my heart. But if something doesn't work, no big deal.

no strings attached, like we were talking about. And how beautiful is that? Like I literally have like no strings attached right now and it's the most freeing time of my life. Yeah. Just to say, Hey, don't worry. It's okay. Like I'm okay. I don't I don't need anything from anything. Like I'm just I'm just okay. And I'm doing good and I'm doing great, actually. But it's but it's this like not having like expectations to it. How much more peace there is in that? I don't know about you, but where do you find yourself with that? Like when how do you how do you get to the place where you realize that what your life is producing is is how do you how do you get to a place with what you're producing that there's freedom, there's love, there's a the availability to love.

Yeah. So to me this is all steeped in faith. And you're making me think of my buddy Kurt, who is him and I recorded an episode together a while back and talked about his friend who wrote a contract with God and how God's his CEO, he's his co founder, and they're very, very clear r job responsibilities. And one of the clearest ones that he gave me, which I thought was really cool, is that the outcome is not his. So he's just free. He's like, I know what I'm supposed to do. Yeah. Whatever happens, whatever the outcome is, it's not mine. And so that's when you can enjoy the mystery of it. That's when you're like, Well, this is what I'm supposed work on.

I don't know how I don't know where this is going. Or I don't know how that's gonna turn out. Now, how often am I in that mindset? Probably I don't know, man. Three out of seven days right now is when I can remember to think that way. Yeah. but I'm getting there. And so I think that when you can release the outcome because you know it's not yours to begin with. I show all these good ideas aren't yours either. And so you're just like the conduit, the hands and feet, whatever you want to call it, then you can be free of it. Yeah. And you can just be like, I don't know where this is going. I think it's the right thing to do. I think I'm supposed to be sitting here with Jeremy today.

I don't know. Yeah. Where's this content going? I don't know. I got some ideas. Yeah. What's gonna happen with it? Not really sure. And so when you can be free of that is when you can be most creative. When you can be free of that, you can have the lowest amount of stress. And you're just like, hey, you know, you're calling it strings. I think it's just like it just released from the outcome and the pressure for it to produce. And instead it's just like I'm just being obedient, bro. Yeah. just showing up. Yeah, just showing up. And so you're making me also think of a friend of mine who he had a phrase where for certain people in his life, he would just follow the invite, he said.

For certain people, when they said, Hey, I'm gonna go do this thing, it's this date, he's like, Coming. Yeah. And they're like, Well, don't you want to know more about it? No. If you're gonna be there, then I should probably be there. And he would just go. Yeah. And that was reserved for an exclusive group of like inner circle friends where he's just like, If you're there, I'm there. And like, do we have that sort of follow the invite thought process when it comes from God? And he's like, Hey, I think you need to do this. And you're like, I don't know, man. That sounds like a lot of work. Yeah. I'm not really sure. I don't really I got things going on that day.

Yeah. And that's when it's like really laughable because then you're like, wait a minute, you think your plans are better than God's plans, bro? You think that you've got better ideas than the creator of the universe? I don't I don't think so. And I'm just getting struck with the power of just showing up. I barely passed high school, literally, like F's pretty much. And I that was like a breaking point in my life. And just the power of like having God come into my life. And then after that, just the ten like tenacity of just continuing to show up. Continuing to show up, like what came in my life. And And I just think about so many of us, like it's just the power is just by just show up and release expectation, but just show up.

Be daring to show up. Be daring to show up in every s situation. And then learn how to say yes. And as you learn how to say yes to the right things, you that takes time. Yeah. But you practice that. Then you you you just find yourself in these random Beautiful moments that just are incredible. Can we stop there real quick? Yeah. saying yes to the right things you have to practice takes practice. So what does that mean? It means that you're gonna say yes to the wrong things. Yes. You're gonna screw it up. Yes. You're gonna say yes to stuff. You're like, shoot, this sucks, right? Yes. Right, how did I find myself here? That's okay. A hundred percent.

And so like this whole like spaghetti principle, throw things against the wall, see what sticks and all that. Horrible business model. Later. Yeah. But for now, you don't know. Yeah. And you're like, hey, I think God's getting my attention on this and I'm gonna try these things. It might some of it might suck really bad. And then you just need to know, like, mm, that thing, not for me. Yeah. This thing, it was really, really hard, and I don't want to do it again, but I probably should try it again. Yeah. And just that but you can only gain that wisdom through some mistakes. Yes. And so I think in the beginning, yeah, bro, like follow the invite or maybe all of it.

Yeah. Yeah, because I think I think the biggest part of that, one of my my uncles said this to me when I first started, I like went back to school. My first job out of out of going to getting my masters was I got this really cool opportunity and it was to to over help oversee a missions organization for the West Coast and I was a regional coach for them and it was marrying like all these beautiful things that I was passionate about, like caring for leaders, helping them balance home life. work life, ministry life, and stay mission focused. That was that piece. The other side was to become a a chaplain for the pro surf tour. And so as my uncle said, hey, this is I I think not so much about the the role is really cool, but it's like, hey, how cool is this?

You get to go and be in an environment where you love surfing, you're passionate about God and serving him. And now it's like marrying all that into one position. And like what a great place to learn. Mm-hmm. And what a great place to like explore this. And and then for me, like past that, like you think about business, is the what I first did was I built other people's kingdoms. And I helped them and I served them and I helped them with their different businesses and concepts and helped them grow it. And then it got to the place where like I was using their dime to learn, which is healthy. And and from that I gained so much. discernment and wisdom.

But then there became a point when it I had to choose, do I stay working for someone or do I go and create? And I think that was something else that we have to choose. And that's the yeses, right? And some of those yeses I partnered with some guys that probably weren't the best to work with, right? And I learned a lot. And even when I was first a youth pastor way back in the day, like that, if I really knew how sketchy that was going to be and how like like There's a lot of stuff that I had to like work through for myself and for those that are were around me. Yeah. it wasn't a healthy culture. But yet, like I learned so much in that place. And I think it's just your attitude.

And I think that's where the yes is like, what's your attitude and the yeses when you make a mistake? How do you take the yes or the no and just actually go, Man, I made a mistake. I should have said no to this. Yeah. But the beauty is everything teaches us. Everything ev helps us to evolve. A hundred percent, man. This is like, you know, when when you make a mistake in business and it costs you a bunch of money, you're like, cool, that's part of my MBA. Yeah. Some people spend it at college. I spend it in the real world. Yeah. Neither one's right or wrong. It's just like, that's my MBA. when they're you know, I've had, you know, probably about ten years ago really bad co founder experience.

Dude passes away. It was just it was horrible. And I think about like You could look at those situations and be like, I'm such an idiot. I cannot believe I partner with s a certain person. I can't believe or you can be like, dude, what a gift. Yeah. Because now when I'm in a situation, I'm like, no, that smells like this other thing. Bro, I remember this smell. Yeah. I don't like it. Yeah. Right? It's like a visceral reaction to it. That smells like that other thing. And then it'll help you avoid it. Yeah. And so I think, as my mentor used to always say, you're better served with an early failure than an early success. Cause you're like, wait a minute, that?

Yeah. I'm not doing that again. Yeah. And guess what? As you get older, the stakes are higher. Mm-hmm. So I'd rather pay it earlier. Yeah. And so those are just different sort of perspectives on those yeses that maybe should have been a no. Now it's wisdom. Yeah. Yeah. Well, dude, as we wrap up, man, I don't know if you've got any other thoughts on that or if you want to roll into our segment on yoked and what it means to you right now. Do you have any final thoughts on what we were just talking about? Yeah. Again, I I think it's just important for people to have permission to say, I I wanna give two parts to this. when we the life that we're living, we might f well how about this?

We might find ourselves even listening to some of this and saying, Man, I am caught in a little bit of stuff. I am caught in a place I don't want to be. I am doing things in my life that I don't wanna do in my life. How do I get out of it? First I just want everyone to know how you get out of something is is to first let me see how to say this actually. This is The beauty of life is yes, how you live, your attitude, your mindset, the direction of how you're you're approaching it has formed you to be who you are today. The beauty also is you don't have to stay there. You can grow to become more. Everything we've had in our past has has informed us for the permission of our future.

Now, are you gonna let your comfort hold you back? Are you gonna let your your desire, the the vision that you have for your yourself, give you the conviction now to step towards it. And I think that's that's what we're really trying to like kind of flush out right now. It's like the the the things that you're producing in your life become who you are or it can be the tools that what you chose in the past can actually allow you to grow into more. And I think that's my testimony at least is man, I chose a lot of things of numbing. And I chose to avoid, and then I chose to choose life. And and then I found that the source of life is is in God's truth.

And then when you live out his ways, it allows you to break all these paradigms, these belief mechanisms, these worldviews that were not serving me but holding me back. And when I chose to use his ways of living, that started to reveal wounds and they were healed. That started to reveal belief systems. That were not serving me and they're and they and I was broken away from those. It gave me a fresh lens that actually allowed me to have life that I never thought I could have. And I want that to be there for everyone to know. It's it's so subtle, but it's it's right there for you. You just have to choose to say, the way that I'm living, is it really serving me?

Probably not. Well, you can choose a different way. Now be intentional with that. And know you might fall back, but it's just about choosing it again. Choosing it again, choosing it again, choosing it again. When I first started my fitness career, I came from being sick and a car accident. I didn't become buff overnight. I didn't become strong overnight. But you know what? When I was a kid, I worked a lot, made me strong, but I had to keep showing up. So I just want people to know, keep showing up. Everything you've chosen in the past has has helped you to become this person today. That hasn't disqualified you, that hasn't underprepared you. It's prepared you for now.

Now it's how you use it. Yeah. And so that's my two cents. But do you have two cents? It's good. No, man. You covered it, bro. Okay. It's good. It's good. It's a choice. It's a choice. It's a choice. well, dude, how what does yokes mean to you this week? what has it meant to you or as you're moving into the next week, like how is it affecting the way that you show up? Yeah. Yeah. you know, it's It's realizing I I'm I'm in my lane right now. And that's awesome. And it's knowing that I am yoked. I am with him. Yeah. And he is with me. I am with him. He is with me. Just practicing that mantra. I am with him. He is with me. And and so that means I I'm moving towards where I'm meant to be.

I am where I'm meant to be. And like I'm present in where I'm meant to be. Yeah. And and I'm just excited to see what gets birthed because of this. Like everything has prepared me for this time. And now I'm just trying to be grateful for it. And like not push too far ahead. Cause I'm I'm great at seeing like way far down the road, but no going, I'm grateful for being here now. Yeah. How about for you? That's good, man. I I so a couple things. One, you know, Melissa and I walk through my wife and I walk through walk people through listening prayer exercises. A lot of it has to start with like Favorite place if you're familiar with that. And it's just where you can envision yourself with Jesus and how he presents himself to you and then kind of have this conversation.

And it's cool because when you learn it, you can I can think you can teleport there. You're gonna be in a super stressful situation and just kind of envision yourself back there and it cuts through all the noise so that you can have a kind of clear communication with him. And so I'm thinking about that as you're talking. And then yoked, you think about the oxen, you think about it being in farmland and it being dirty and dusty. And you think about how cool it'd be if Jesus was like, Hey bro, come over here and want to dig this hole together. You'd be like, Heck yeah, bro, let's go. Right? We're gonna work at the we're gonna work till this land together.

You would not leave. Even if it was sweaty, sunny, dusty, dirty, you just hang with them all day. You just be tilling the land all day. You would not leave his presence and then go to the other like the lot next door 'cause it looked better. But that's what we do. We might I mean, like I said, three days a week, I get it right. Three days a week I'm working with him and the other four I got better things to do. I got more important things to do. You said seeing the vision way off in the future. Like you're out your mind's in the future working on that. And he's like, No, bro, would you just hang with me? Like, what are we doing? Yeah. Like, where are you going?

You're like, but I got I don't know, bro, it's moving too slow. Plow's moving too slow, it's a little too dirty. It's kinda sunny over here. It's shade over there. Right? Yeah. It's hot here, it's cooler over there. This is a lot of roots over here. That one looks like it's been tilled already. That looks better. The grass is greener, whatever. And so for me, it's just remembering that we just need to st stay next to him. You know? And for me, it's like dummy, dude, dude, you just hang with me. Where are you going? Yeah. Where where are you going? And it's every day. It's like, where we shiny object again, come would you get over here? That's gonna take you nowhere.

Yeah. That's gonna be cool for an afternoon and then you're gonna be like, shoot, I I've I left the side again. So that's what it's meaning to me right now. I get a vision for you if I if it's okay for me to share for you. Yeah. with what you're just sharing about the the the the the roots in the ground. all this work you're doing, you're you're you're toying the you're expanding the ground for your family. Mm For the generations that come after you. You're teaching them to not just like do the the the like don't go just to the shade, like we're about expanding our family, we're about becoming the people that can govern this land. Some of this, like you can't have these roots in this land.

You can't have these things here. You gotta remove them. It's not gonna help us. It's gonna hinder our family. And like so how you show up is helping these people, your family line change. And like that is what it's about. Like you and your wife, you get to come and first be transformed and then provide that transformation for your children to say, this is what it looks like to live, to live authentically, to live wholeheartedly. And so I was just seeing, like, as you're as you're talking about like not going to the shade, but like choosing to break the the roots that are not meant to be in your in your land. And you're like you're toying you're like doing that and you're showing your son your your daughters like, no, these aren't supposed to be here.

Yeah. And they're like, yeah. Okay, good. Yeah, we're supposed to do this too. Dad, I don't really want to get dirty, but you're saying I'm supposed to do this and then like you look back and look at the kingdom that you've now like have governed. Yeah. It's good, man. I appreciate that. One final point on the roots and we'll wrap is You know, one of these visions I got a couple months ago was you till the land and you s stay next to him and you you're like, bro, we're done. They're high fiving. And he's like, Nah, bro, we gotta go back through there again. There's some rocks we missed, there's some roots we missed. We went a foot deep, supposed to go two feet deep.

We can't plant yet. And then our response, right? Our choice, we've been talking about choice a lot. The choice we have to make is whether we say, like a little child, I don't wanna. Or we're like All right, bro, let's go. We have a choice to make. Yeah. And a lot of times my response is I don't wanna. And he's like, No, dude, we're not done yet. I'm like, but I wanna I wanna plant. He's like, Can't plant yet. You plant if you want, but they're they're not gonna the roots aren't gonna go deep enough. The fruits could be not good. Yeah. It's gonna be okay, kinda. And you're gonna look back and you're like, dang it. I should have listened. I should have plowed through there again.

No, but I wanted a shortcut. And now what do I gotta do? I gotta start over. Yeah. I gotta dig all this crap up and I gotta go till it again. If I would have just listened, if I would have been obedient, if I would have had patience, right? If I would have been paying attention, if I would have been praying more, if I would have been listening more, I w I it would have been better in the end. Yeah. And so to me, it's just like, man, we gotta do the work. And sometimes we've got to do it a lot of times we gotta do it way more than we want to. Yep. But in the end, they harvest as much more readily. The harvest's much better. Yeah. So I love it. It's good, man.

Well, dude, Jeremy, where can people find out more about you? Yeah, on my Instagram, livingzoy.co or online, zoysystems.com. And or you can just find me around. Just around town. Around town. How about you? Where can we find you? whitestonecoach.com, coach Peter Owood on social, A-W-A-D-A-D. For those that you don't know, it's the hardest four letter last name ever. It's near it's really close to habits. Hey, you got it right. Habits, bro. Jeez. so that's it, man. And for those listening, if this has been impactful for you, share it with someone who needs to hear the message. Till next time. See ya. Take care.